Editing tip: Ditch most filter words!

Crafting a memorable narrative requires keeping the reader engaged; limiting the use of filter words can help. Why is that? Because filter words tell rather than show what is happening. They tend to distance the reader from the character. And by removing them, often the text is less wordy.

What are filter words?

Words chosen to explain something sensory in the character’s experience: see, hear, touch, watch, look, feel, and notice are some common ones.

Or to explain the character’s thought process: think, wonder, realize, believe, decide, know, and remember.

Why are filter words an issue?

There is a magnificent trust inherent in a reader’s openness to what appears on the page and his or her ability to interpret and experience what happens builds the narrative’s bond. To be fully engaged, the reader seeks to be the protagonist, to live the story through the characters. The distance created between the character and the reader by telling the reader what is experienced rather than allowing the reader to interpret the character’s experience diminishes the story. Rather than telling the reader what a character saw, felt, or remembered, isn’t it better to show the character seeing, feeling, or remembering?

Filter words are also often redundant: they say what the reader already knows. Therefore, deleting these unnecessary words or phrases streamlines the text. As The Elements of Style remind us, “omit needless words”. Sentences become stronger.

See for yourself which sounds better in these examples using the filter words “see” and “think”.

Standing in our homefield, I see a few remaining crabapples fallen from one of our trees.

In our homefield, a few remaining crabapples lie, fallen from one of our trees.

In this example, the protagonist tells us where she is and what she sees, therefore we are at a distance as observers who need to be told. In the revision, the reader experiences where the character is and what she sees in real time, directly through her.

“What about offering our skyr and the young cheeses?” I suggest. “See how thin the skraelings are? Maybe they are hungry.”

“What about offering our skyr and the young cheeses?” I suggest. “The skraelings are twig thin. Maybe they are hungry.”

Here, one character tells her companion to see what she sees. In version two, the first character states what she sees, which is more direct.

Through the gateway, I see tawny natives approach, clad only in scraps of leather and animal hide, some with designs drawn on their skin or wearing bracelets of shells and animal teeth.

Through the gateway, tawny natives approach, clad only in scraps of leather and animal hide, some with designs drawn on their skin or wearing bracelets of shells and animal teeth.

In the first example here, “I see” is simply redundant.

“You will be well entertained when you see the natives scatter in fear from the countenances of our strange army.”

“You will be well entertained when the natives scatter in fear from the countenances of our strange army.”

Here, the second version is more immediate and active.

His kind manner makes me think of the brother I almost had.

His kind manner reminds me of the brother I almost had.

A slight change from “makes me think” to “reminds me” involves a more personal, inner action.

Perhaps he did not bring the sickness with him.” Her expression suggests she thinks otherwise.

Perhaps he did not bring the sickness with him.” Her expression suggests otherwise.

The removal of “she thinks” adds power to this shorter sentence.

In this early WR post, successful author Jen Malone suggested a series of easy revision strategies, including the removal of most filter words. She is a freelance editor. She knows.

As noted by Louise Harnby in this blog post, sometimes filter words do provide the useful function of adding texture to a story. You can read her comments here on how to judiciously choose which to slash.

In AJ Collins Publishing’s post on this topic, a tip is given about how to find filter words. Look for pronouns followed by a sensory verb.

This brief explanation from the Master Class website shows that eliminating filter words is about limiting the distance between reader and character.

How to find the filter words

Do a search in whatever program you use when writing. For instance, in Microsoft Word, you can access this feature by choosing “Find” in the upper right task bar or by opening the Navigation pane (found under the View tab). Type in one of the filter words and Word will tell you how many instances occur in your manuscript and highlights exactly where they are in the text. Once you have corrected the first one, choose the small down arrow just under the bar where you typed in the filter word and the text will scroll to the next instance of that word.

One useful side effect of this hunt for offenders is that you may also recognize patterns in your choice of vocabulary. Doing a Word Search for “think” (or any other filter word) in your manuscript may yield a tally of dozens or even hundreds of instances in your novel, indicating overuse. A search for the word “see” will also yield “seek,” “seem,” and other derivatives, which may show that you have too many like-sounding words in a passage. These are instructive discoveries.

Once you have finished pruning out most filter words congratulate yourself on your stronger, more relatable story!